It's no secret that parents should pay attention to how they communicate with their children. Even tiger moms and parents following the French style of raising children could agree that what we say to our kids -- and how we say it -- matters. Tiger moms and French parents get the results they want largely because of what they say. But besides using words to get kids to do what they want, how moms and dads communicate with their kids directly impacts the parent-child relationship long term. And it's the simple statements parents make, usually in a moment of frustration with their young children, which can cause the most damage later on.
"Words hurt and they can't be taken back, so be careful" says Debbie Pincus, a therapist, parenting coach and author of "The Calm Parent: AM & PM." Team Mom on Shine asked Pincus and other parenting experts about the most common phrases that moms and dads say to young kids in the midst of parental panic. Don't feel bad if you've said them -- most parents have! "We're human. Our lives are crazy and sometimes we don't give ourselves time to pause and think," she says. "We don't want to be so careful that we're not authentic. We're real. Be passionate with your kids, be real, say what's on your mind. Say it passionately. Just be conscious and responsible, no matter who we talk to." Pincus adds that calm is contagious and better things come out of our mouths when we stop ourselves from reacting in the moment
The bottom line is that as parents, we're teaching our kids how we want them to behave in similar situations; modeling the desired behavior is key. Check out what Pincus and others had to say about five things parents shouldn't say to kids--and how to turn a moment of frustration into a positive life lesson.
"I don't care."
"Act your age!"
"Say you're sorry!"
"Don't you get it?"
"I'm going to leave without you!"
related: 8 things you should never say to a mom