07/09/2022

Feeling Lonely in a Relationship

How to stop Feeling Lonely When You’re in a Relationship

You may assume that only single people feel lonely. But that isn’t the case. You can be in a romantic relationship and still feel tragically, sadly alone. While research shows marriage itself can protect against loneliness, not all partnerships do, says Jane Greer, PhD, a marriage and family therapist in New York City and author of What About Me: Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. “It can be because something is not right with your relationship, or it can be due to a void you have encountered in your own life that you expect your partner to fill,” she says.

Whatever the cause, loneliness in a relationship is common. A Pew Research Center survey found that almost 30% of those dissatisfied with their family life feel lonely all or most of the time, compared to just 7% of those who are happy with their family relationships. Another 2018 survey by health insurer Cigna found that 2 out of 5 Americans report that their relationships (including romantic ones) aren’t meaningful. The pandemic itself may have worsened these feelings. “Now, more than ever, we’re dependent on our inner circle since we’ve been less able to get out and fill our lives with activity,” Greer says. “We don’t have that casual chitchat in stories, or the ability to easily meet friends for coffee. As a result, if you already feel lonely in a relationship, it can become even more pronounced.”

It’s important to remember that there’s a difference between feeling lonely and being alone. “Healthy solitude -- where you carve out time for yourself away from others, including your partner -- is a form of self-care, and it’s really important,” says Jagdish Khubchandani, PhD, a professor of public health at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. “Loneliness itself is different. You feel disconnected and isolated from others, even when you’re physically with them.” It’s this sort of emotion, he says, that is linked to depression, anxiety, even heart disease and premature death.


Feeling Lonely in Your Relationship? Here's What to Do About It

Being lonely is not just an emotion reserved for those who are single or alone. But there are ways to work through it. “It’s very common that people find themselves in long-term relationships feeling lonely,” says Niloo Dardashti, a New York-based psychologist and relationship expert.

People in a relationship can be lonely because something isn’t working in the relationship itself or because they look to their partner to fill a void that they’ve been carrying within themselves, according to Dardashti. Whatever the culprit, here, a few experts explain why you might be feeling this way and provide ways to address the root of the loneliness you may be experiencing.

Why do some people feel lonely in their relationship? One reason for feeling lonely could be that your relationship is not working as well as it once did. A 2018 Pew Research Center survey found that 28% of people who are dissatisfied with their family lives feel lonely all or most of the time. And the number of people who are unhappy at home is rising — the most recent General Social Survey conducted in 2016 by NORC at the University of Chicago recorded the highest number of unhappily married couples since 1974.


When You're Lonely Inside Your Relationship

The Buddha taught that life includes suffering. The same is true for relationships. We think of loneliness as a condition that exists outside of relationship but sometimes we feel the loneliest inside an intimate relationship. That said, it is essential that we learn how to take care of ourselves, connect with our own heart, regardless of what’s happening within our partnership. It is our intimate relationship with ourselves, ultimately, that determines our wellbeing, and our compassion for our own experience that allows us to weather, with equanimity, the suffering that is part of every relationship.

Nina and Rochelle (names are changed) had been partners for 20 years and were married for three. The two women had two children together, one from a sperm donor that Rochelle carried, and another who was adopted from Russia. Their children were both under 10 and their adoptive child had a host of behavioral and learning challenges.

Nina came to see me because she felt lonely in the marriage. She found much of her wife’s behavior unlikable and had lost respect for her in many ways. Nina frequently experienced Rochelle as unkind, judgmental, and unsupportive. She felt disconnected and wasn’t feeling loving or loved. Nina longed for closeness and connection but had no idea how to create it.


What to Do When You’re Feeling Lonely in a Relationship

You don’t have to be socially isolated to feel lonely. You might be in a long-term relationship or even in a family with many siblings. You might live in a shared house with friends and still feel alone.

Loneliness is a negative state in which you feel discomfort or social pain. You may feel alone, empty, or possibly even unwanted. It’s not unusual to feel lonely in a crowd or with a loved one. This feeling of social isolation often takes place even if you’re among other people.

This article will focus on feelings of loneliness despite being in a romantic relationship. In these cases, feeling lonely might seem to make no sense, especially if you feel alone as you sit at the dinner table next to your significant other. That’s because loneliness is a feeling and a perception. So, let's look at why some people may feel lonely while in a relationship and tips for dealing with that feeling.



Feeling Lonely Quotes About Relationships

It’s not so difficult for one person to feel
lonely in a relationship that was supposed to be meant for two people. Being lonely in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that one party pulled out of the relationship.

Being lonely in a relationship can occur when one person begins to feel he/she is the only one doing all the things he/she can to keep the relationship going. They feel like they are the only one in love in the relationship, as well as the only one giving all their best in order to maintain the love that both parties were supposed to be sharing.

Should in case you happen to find yourself in a relationship where you feel alone, make use of this feeling alone in a relationship quotes below that will pass a clear message to your partner as well as family and friends. Look for any of the quotes below that best describes the way you feel, and then share it on any of your preferred social media platform where your partner can easily see it and make amendments immediately. Some of the quotes below are inspiring and can easily guide you on the next line of action to take. Good luck on your quest to share how lonely your relationship makes you feel.


15 Signs of Loneliness in a Relationship and How to Deal With It

You may think that having a partner, who you spend time with the most, will solve the problem of loneliness. However, you may be surprised to realize that many people may end up feeling lonely in a relationship, as well. That person could be you or your partner. Feeling alone in a relationship is a sign of trouble. You can either be in a stale or toxic relationship.

The signs of loneliness in a relationship may not always be visible. Also, there are plenty of reasons why someone would feel lonely in a relationship. It could also be stress from other factors, and your partner is not helping alleviate it. You could also be living in a loveless partnership, and you’re just going through the motions of your daily life without fun, romance, or meaning. What loneliness in relationships means? “Why do I feel lonely? I have a partner, but why do I feel alone?”

All of us can feel lonely once in a while, whether we are in a relationship or not. However, one must not confuse being alone with being lonely. Feeling lonely has little to do with the fact that you have a partner or not. Some people may not feel lonely even when they are not in a romantic relationship. On the other hand, others may feel lonely even when they are in a long-term relationship with someone. So, what does it mean to feel lonely in a relationship?


Feeling lonely in a relationship? Here’s what you need to know

You might feel that if you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t be lonely. 
But being in a relationship can’t stop you from feeling lonely, particularly if you have unresolved issues from your past or things have happened in the relationship that means you have drifted apart from each other.

Being in a relationship that has gone off track is often much lonelier than being single. It can mean that you feel rejected or unloved, as you try to get back the relationship you used to have. At the same time, you don’t have the freedom to date and have the fun that you would if you were single. It can feel like the worst of both worlds.

Any long-term relationship will have times when things aren’t quite as good as they once were. It may be that these become relationship-breakers or it may be that you can pull through them and come out stronger. In this article, we’ll look more deeply at the causes of loneliness in a relationship and examine whether you can come out fighting or whether it’s time to move on and build a new life as a single person.


6 Real Reasons Why You’re Feeling Alone in a Relationship

For many people, being in a stable relationship implies that they will benefit from companionship for the rest of their lives. From bouncing ideas with a special person to having a physical presence, we expect a relationship to give us a sense of closeness, mutual affection, and deep rapport. What we don’t expect though, is to feel alone in that relationship.

As a relationship therapist, I commonly see couples expressing a sense of void—a sense of loneliness within their partnership—one they struggle to make sense of. It can be very difficult for the couples involved.

Loneliness can mean different things for different people. However, it generally includes some of the following:
  • Feeling unheard or not listened to by your partner
  • Feeling unloved or uncared for
  • Feeling disconnected from the relationship
  • Feeling anxious in bringing up issues
  • Not sharing news (good or bad) with your loved one
  • Overlooking their input or not feeling like your input matters
  • Feeling unsure about the future, the relationship, or yourself
  • Finding yourself a solo decision maker
  • Beginning to make plans (short or long term) that don’t involve your other half
  • Feeling sad, empty or hopeless

7 Honest Ways To Deal With Feeling Lonely In A Relationship

I have felt deeply lonely in a relationship twice in my life. The first time ended in a divorce. The second time brought us closer together, both emotionally and physically. I moved across the state, uprooted my entire life, and never looked back. It was the best decision I ever made.

There are many reasons why you may be lonely in your current relationship. The good thing about that? It means there are plenty of possible solutions. Every situation is different, so the reason behind those lonely feelings will differ from person to person — and relationship to relationship. In 2019, 61% of Americans reported feeling lonely, with 47% saying their relationships were not meaningful to them.

No one is immune to loneliness. Gen Z participants (ages 18 to 22) in the UCLA Loneliness Scale reported the highest loneliness score of all adult participants, which may be due to the role social media plays in the live of those belonging to Generation Z. In another survey, 43% of seniors reported feeling lonely on a regular basis. And not all of these people are single. It’s a safe bet that many are in relationships. As it turns out, that doesn’t provide a defense against loneliness.


Feeling Alone: 13 Ways to Stop Feeling So Lonely and Isolated

You’re surrounded by people. They’re laughing, smiling, and talking. Everyone seems to be having a great time – they all seem to feel so connected with each other. But no matter how much you want that feeling, you can’t help but feel completely alone.

A sense of heaviness and hollowness may fill your chest as you watch them all. I am alone, completely and utterly alone. Nobody can truly see me. No one truly understands me. No one even cares. I’m of no importance to them. I’m not like them at all. Your thoughts may spiral as the emptiness you feel becomes more and more suffocating.

Can you relate to these feelings? Can you relate to being in a room full of people but feeling totally alone and isolated inside? If so, I want to assure you that you’re not alone. So many people (myself included) have grappled with extreme loneliness during life. But although this experience can be so hard to cope with, there is help and there are solutions.


Not everyone who is Single is Lonely
Not everyone who is Taken is in Love

Better to be alone and happy, than to be with someone and be miserable.

Too many people stay for all the wrong reasons.

Love yourself! If you don’t love yourself how can you love another, you can’t define yourself by who your with.